Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter AscendingIt may not have stunned critics and the box office but Jupiter Ascending was a fun movie in my humble opinion (and who doesn’t like looking at Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis, Family Guy be damned). The film serves to deliver the most brutal of questions that humanity simple adores to ignore; are we alone in the universe. The sheer arrogance of that is mind numbingly alarming and yet movie after movie asks the question in its own unique way. Others are subtler in their approach but who needs subtlety these days when we can have explosions in space?

Have you ever imagined that your life could be better or that you were meant for greater things? Jupiter, born to a Russian immigrant, has no country as she was born in the ocean (conveniently ignoring that country and citizenship are entirely determined by parentage if location is an issue, but logistics aside it makes for an interesting inner pain and isolation that we can sympathize with). She is a maid who adores the sea of stars and planets above her because her father studied the skies and died trying to protect his telescope (rather than his pregnant wife of course). She cleans the houses of those who have everything while she and at least six (probably more) live in a small cramped house (she, her mother, and whom I assume to be her aunt share a room that could give the divorced husband’s club a run for their money).

Jupiter lives a hard life of mediocrity and unimportance until her cousin (or some other, relationships were quite murky) convinces her to donate some of her eggs for several thousand dollars. It is here where our plot truly grows to epic proportions. Three royals who have inherited planets (dozens apiece from what I recall) are passively aggressively fighting with one another over a specific part of their mother’s will; Earth.

In this universe there is such a thing as a perfectly genetic reincarnation, in other words, someone born with the exact same gene pool as someone who came before them and Jupiter is their mother reincarnate and due the Earth as per her preincarnation’s will. It is around here we meet Channing Tatum, notably lacking sleeves so that his muscles are more prominent.

We are taken across space to view just how primitive our world is compared to that of others, and in the process we learn that they are no better than us. They’re simply exaggerations of who we are and what we could become. Thankfully none of us are lucky enough to own an entire planet, the paperwork alone is ridiculous.

The movie might not have captured the hearts of critics and it may not have made hundreds of millions of dollars, but that doesn’t make it any less fun and entertaining. Simply seeing a movie to enjoy oneself isn’t a crime and Jupiter Ascending is a good movie in its own right.

Had it been released when initially marketed (much like Kingsman and Seventh Son) it might have done better. But even the Dump Months can provide us with awesome visuals and an entertaining adventure.

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